Another Semester Begins!
coffincadaver


Konnichiwa! Genki Moii Des Ka!?
I hope everyone is well! I haven't really posted here in a long time, a few months I believe. But I am on a break in between classes so I thought I would update everyone, see if any of my followers are still alive out there.
It's Back To School for me, Fall semester started today!
So far, it has been pretty relaxing honestly. Had algebra this morning & composition 2 here at 2'oclock.

My fun day as I call it is tomorrow beginning with Intro To Psycology. Then Algebra, Music Appreciation, Then Japanese to end the day!
Hoping to hear if I get the work study position that I applied for here at the school...I will know here shortly either before my next class or afterwards. Its a paying office position here on campus, I am pretty excited, never really did something like this before so it should be a huge learning experience.
I am also President of MAC, a student organization on campus called Multicultural Awareness colalition.
The teacher advisor is non other than my sensei Prof. Oldeaker, got to visit with him to day briefly, glad to see that he is doing well.

I'm sad that summer is over, but honestly I was waiting for school to start back up more than anything!
Should be getting around $800 back in my refund, most of that will be going to bills unfortunately.
Oh well. To keep my wife & I with a safe roof over our heads & food in our bellys, this is what needs to be done!

But hope everyones summer was a relaxing one and if your going to school, have a awesome first semester!
Talk to everyone later!

Pains Of The Past Bleeding Into The Present...
coffincadaver
Maybe this is the sleep deprivation talking...who knows.
I have been second guessing people in my life lately, except those outside of the Holbrooke family & my wife...People I called friends, I shouldn't have to though, that is the sad part. I shouldn't have to second guess people...feel that they are plotting against me, or talking behind my back...
I distance myself from people for a reason, this is why.
After the incident in December, and the bastard still weaving his crooked finger into the world around me even though I have no connection with him anymore disturbs me, as dose any of my enemies/ex-friends. It disturbs me to have them around, I know I should ignore them, carry on, show them I haven't fell like they have wanted me to...but for some reason it fucks with me that these people are still around...I think it wouldn't if I lived in a different state.
It has even gotten to the point where I am pushing people away, people connected with these ex-friends...shutting these people because of their connections with them. I don't know, I just want cleansed of these people & their memories...I have kept some of the belongings they have given me in the past as gifts, but the scars remain fresh with these items, I dont want to get rid of them even though it hurts looking at them...

I don't know what to do anymore...this haunting pain continues to stab me here & there reminding me that these people stand in the shadows watching me, laughing, pointing their fingers, speaking their poison to others to try & ruin me...

I want to lash out, take a stand at these people, but what would be the point...

I don't know what to do... I just don't... I want out of this town...I want away from them & the people they are connected to...


It's Been Awhile.
coffincadaver
Hello everyone
It's been a bit since I posted, finally got internet at home so I'm trying to become more active on my sites again.
I am now employed again so that also takes up a lot of my time now along with finishing my second semester of college. 2 weeks left and I will be free for summer break!!!!
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Sort of excited for fall semester, going to be working with my Japanese teacher alot more in the second level class of Japanese, and also president of his organization "MAC - Mulicultural Afiliation Council" which I'm going to be having some japan related events along with celebrating other cultures. Also I am going to be hold a fundraiser for the continued Tsunami relief as well. Gotta get a couple grades up within 2 weeks, hopefully I can tackle it.

Other than that, I have been working in a local restraunt, 60 hours a pay period, bi weekly. Other than homework and work, I don't have much time to do anything right now... I barely get to game, see friends or spend time with my wife... Its depressing honestly.

 I scheduled my first gender therapy appointment for the 10th of may with Dr. Markham. Im nervous and excited at the same time. can't believe I'm finally taking the first steps to becoming ashton...^^

Also, I am trying to findout how I can get a custom theme, especially for my emtions on here, cause I want a Gackt one. Any of my gackt fans wanna help me out? :)

Saiyonara!


An Update On Life~
coffincadaver
ohayogozaimasu!
Hope everyone is well!



I am happy to announce that I am employed again at a job that I am more than comfortable with! I got employed at a local McDonald's. It wasn't my first choice in job, but it was a easy land since I have plenty if experience with them. I begin my first day of work this evening at 5pm.

College is going well, I have some absences but that has been due to health issues. For awhile I haven't been getting much sleep, they haven't tested me for sleep aptnia, but they found that my bronchial tubes in my lungs are having spasims and are not functioning as they should, I know its due to me smoking which I have stopped. I am trying to stick to a healthier diet, going to zumba when I can.
Since getting the job, Im having to re-structure my entire schedule so we shall see how this goes with the rest of the semester.

Hoping this is the light at the end of the tunnel that I have been looking for, for the past several months.
Spring break starts today for me, so I have a whole week off! Not from work, but from college, but once I return I have 5 weeks left of my second semester! Got some homework to work on over break on top of work so this will be the test to see if I can handle both!


Its been 2 years since the sendai tsunami that changed the lives of the japanese people forever.

I know I am late with my post in response to this. I have had the country and its people in that district in my heart every day since then. Praying for them, thinking about them, keep their heart and souls in my thoughts both those who are with us and those who are not.
I continue to show my heart for this country every day, I'm still trying to find out if the red cross is still taking donations for the cause, if so I am going to have a fundraiser at my college to raise money to send over!

Well its time for me to slip off to Japanese class, Sayonara!



It's Been Awhile.
coffincadaver
I know I haven't posted on here for awhile now, Things have just been very busy for me at the moment.
Still trying to find a job currently, put some more applications. One job I am really wanting to hear from.
It's a Japanese Steak House here in town, really would love to work there. My wife & I have eaten there a few times.
It's expensive! But the atmosphere is amazing!
I'm planning on having my birthday there as well, invited 45 of my friends, hoping some show up.
I have had a history of shitty birthdays so *crosses fingers* hopefully this one wont be shit as well.

School is going well, a little hectic, but I think classes are starting to look up for me at last.
I'm really loving Japanese! Our teacher is a very kind older gentleman. Knows his knowledge, use to be head of a language school in Japan so. ^^
I also got a penpal who lives in Japan as well, and he is a furry!
Which works out well for both of my interests.

I have also been working out, I have quit smoking & I am eating healthier now.
Going to Zumba classes on thursday evenings with a friend & working out for about 30 mins to 1 hour at the colleges gym.

Got a copy of "Yellow Fried Chickenz ~ Last Live" a couple days ago.
Watched it & loved every moment of it, especially when they celebrate Gackt's birthday.
But I was sad to find out that YFC is now broken up? Really sad, because their chemistry was perfect.

My wife & I have been having a bit of a rocky relationship lately. Mainly because she has been off her medications. I'm going to have her call her Therapist now that we have a phone again to set up her next appointment. Last time was the first time I have ever seen her close to a mental breakdown, and I don't want my baby to go over the edge.
I love my wife so much, she has put up with me for 8 years even through the couple break ups that we had. I love her and I don't know what I would do without her. <3

Anywho, thought I would stop in and let you all know that I am not dead! XD
Sayonara!



Some Good News!
coffincadaver
So my mother-in-law came to visit last night and with some good news!
My wife's step-dad is getting us a car! Of course I am going to give him $300 towards the $600 needed for it. His friend is selling it to him for $600 and its coming to us! So excited!

That means no more walking or taking the bus anywhere! Just means that our wallet is going to be tighter, unless I can find a job soon...Thought I would share this with you!


(no subject)
coffincadaver

I really don't know what to title this journal, its a sentimental one... I wrote a old friend that I haven't spoken to in months, almost a year due to misunderstanding between he & I & his wife... This guy, we were inseparable when I lived in Columbus...
He was a true brother to me, someone I always enjoyed being around... I have so many memories... so many that I wont let go of even when we wouldn't talk...

He wants to make peace just as much as I, but I have to overcome talking to his wife who despises me... he wants us to make peace...
Dunno how well this will go, but we shall see....
Hoping that he and I can be back on peaceful terms, cause I do miss this guy, a dear friend.


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So many memories, I hope that things work out this time...I've missed you </3


I PASSED MY TEST!
coffincadaver

As I said in my last post, My first Japanese test was yesterday...I passed with a 100% A!

I am so proud of myself!!! I was nervous in the beginning, I was scared that as soon as I looked at the test, that my mind would go blank...but it didn't!

So, so happy!


My First Japanese Test Is Today!
coffincadaver


So, I am in Japanese 101 & Our first test is today!

Its mostly on phrases such as "I am lost", "Please Help", "You May Work", "May I Use The Phone?", Etc.
I am feeling really, really confident about this, I studied last night 3 times with flash cards & once this morning, may run through them one more time before class at 2pm.

I got to spend time with my sensai yesterday while I wrote my flash-cards, cause I had originally had them all backwards & wrong so he helped me fix them. But we got to speak about Japan & his experiences there. It makes me want to go more & more. I am seriously going to start looking into my passport & the price it would be to go to Japan, even for a visit. I really don't think people understand how much this country means to me, I am not a typical weeboo, or otaku, I am a 100% supporter of Japan besides its Anime & Manga.

The people to me are honorable, respectable, the country itself is gorgeous even with the damage the tsunami has caused. Honestly, compared to the United States with Katrina it seemed like forever to start rebuilding, but here it is a year later & the countryside is springing back to life. The country came together as a whole it seemed to rebuild.
That is unity. As morbid as this may seem, I hope that when I die, I die there... I want to be buried in Japan, with cherry blossom petals laid across my grave.
My heart is in that country, wish I could say my ever fiber, but I am not standing on its soil yet. One day...

On a lighter note, it snowed here! A nice big snow!

I know some people are groaning & moaning, but I'm loving it, though the sun is out right now... which will cause some of it to melt... but honestly I love looking at it.
Most of the normal schools like Elementary & Highschools are closed, But college must go on, which honestly I'm glad it did cause I didn't feel like missing my test! XD

Hope everyone is doing well, Wish me luck!
I shall post with results!


Another Ohayocon Gone By...
coffincadaver
The memory is still fond in my memory, I shoved a duffle-bag full of boots & clothes into the trunk of a old friends car...Kissed my wife goodbye, then headed to Columbus,OH for Ohayocon 09'.
4 years later, I have missed yet another con...
At con I feel free, not just this con, but at any con I feel free...I feel free to be myself amongst other people who are just as big fans as I am.
Ohayocon though was the funnest convention I had ever been to & my first, the most memorable weekend.
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Just meeting some of the voice actors, spending time with them, and meeting new faces was a great experience for me. I remember running from the Vic mignogna concert with a group of friends to his signing, then meeting him again later. Getting to work with Greg Ayers on the jwalk during the rave, then getting to rock out to Dir En Grey, lipping the words and getting people to jump, even a few moshed to it. It was awesome...then the rave, meeting my friend Jax. then above all, the one memory that makes me facepalm but laugh at the same time, getting bubble tea on high street in columbus, walking the sidewalks in big platform boots, slipping in the middle of the road, I put the tea in front of me, throwing my body to where it would land safely, it was my first bubble tea and I wasnt going to loose it. XD

Now I am sitting here, seeing posts from friends over facebook about them heading to con, or having fun at con...
If I had went this year I would have cosplayed YFC Gackt...but not having a job & school put a hinder on that...really frustrates me because I haven't been there in years, I was in columbus a couple times last year, but didn't get to spend much time with friends...I would have gotten to this weekend...but I am stuck at home.
it brings tears to my eyes honestly, because I enjoy anime cons, or cons in general... I need to get my head out of my ass & find a job so I can save up to maybe get to go to Anthro-con & Ohayocon next year...Take my wife so she can experience it & have a good time, it would be a nice get away for us..

well, heres to hoping next year I can attend...


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